How to get over rejection

I just read an interview in the New York Times about what it’s like to be a sociopath. The subject of the interview, Patric Gagne, is preparing to publish a book called Sociopath: A Memoir.

The article highlighted that I am not a sociopath because I care deeply — often too deeply — what other people think of me. Most of us do.

And caring too much about other people’s opinions limits us from doing scary things like asking for what we want.

Asking is hard

Asking for what you want can be really hard!

Let’s use a concrete example:

I would like to take you to lunch.
I know the best secret sandwich spot in Oakland.
And then finally the ask: Would you like to come with me?

Asking means risking being told “No.” Or worse yet, getting laughed at.

Asking is even harder when we’re trying to sell something $1000 tickets to my annual Responsive Conference.

I am confronted by insecurities like “What if they take offense to me asking?” or “What if they agree, but then hate the experience?”

Asking is scary because of the risk of rejection.

What is rejection?

When I compare myself to someone who actually doesn’t care what people think of her, like the author of Sociopath Patric Gagne, I have to define my terms.

What is rejection?

Rejection is caring about what people think, even if I shouldn’t. It means basing my decisions and actions on how I think someone else might respond.

Rejection is the fear that you are going to be judged, or worse yet, ostracized by your peers.

Throughout human evolution, getting ostracized meant likely death. Infants can’t survive without the support of their adult caregivers. Prehistoric humans couldn’t survive without the support of their community.

Today, we live in a world with eight billion people. Even if we were to get excommunicated (which isn’t likely to result from a single request), that probably wouldn’t mean the death that would for our prehistoric ancestors.

The world is a lot safer and more convenient than it was tens of thousands of years ago!

Motivated by the opinions of strangers

I can rationalize why I should care about the opinion of my best friend. If I acted in a way that a close friend found unacceptable, I’d like to know so that I could at least consider changing my behavior.

I’m also highly motivated by what my parents think of me. This is less appropriate, because, at 37-years-old, I’ve outgrown the need for their approval.

Worse, I’m motivated by the opinions of strangers. When I meet someone walking down the street, I wonder what they think about me.

Most of us are too busy judging ourselves through the eyes of strangers to pay close attention to what we want, recognize our fears and then ask for it.

I haven’t found a magic solution to not caring what people think of me, but here are some approaches to overcome the fear of rejection.

How to care just a bit less

Courage

We have a word for acting in the face of fear. That word is courage.

And most of us want to be more courageous.

A good way to practice being courageous is to practice asking for what you want. Incidentally, you’ll get better at asking!

Identify what you’re afraid of

The first step to overcoming your fear is to identify what it is that you are afraid of.

Fear is often an amorphous emotion that clouds even our ability to notice what it is that we’re afraid of.

First recognize that you are fearful and then identify the specific thing that you are afraid of.

The worst case scenario

When I opened up Robin’s Cafe in 2016, I did so with the knowledge that if it failed, I might end up $50,000 or more in debt.

The only way I was able to step into the unknown and open the cafe was to literally calculate how long it would take me at $15/hour (plus tips!) to earn back that $50,000.

Ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Write down a few of your answers.

Practice asking

Asking takes practice.

Just like anything else worth doing, learning to ask for what you want is a learned skill that you can improve with practice.

Unless you work on a sales team, you probably don’t have a lot of experience selling, asking or risking rejection.

Make facing rejection a deliberate skill you practice.

Homework

I’ve started a new practice this year of complimenting strangers on the street. Any time I walk by someone who’s clothing or style I admire, tell them so.

It seems like such a small thing – and it is – but I, for one, and most of us are hesitant even to pay a compliment.

For the next week, complement someone you see at least once a day on some element of their clothing or style. As you do so, notice your discomfort – and complement them anyway!

By the end of the week, you may find that you are less uncomfortable than initially.

How to Build a Creative Habit

The Artist’s Job

My mother is a professional artist. She has been making art, paintings and mezzotints, for more than 40 years. Every day, for my entire life, I’ve watched my mother get up, go out to her studio, and paint. That’s her work: to put brush to canvas and create.

But when I compare my own creative habits to the clockwork regularity of my mother’s practice, I realize that I’ll go to great lengths to avoid my own creative work.

A painter paints. A writer writes. An entrepreneur builds a business. That’s the job.

Start Small

I’ve been intending to write regularly since I published Responsive: What It Takes To Create a Thriving Organization. But I’ve been avoiding writing, because writing is really hard work. Creating feels risky, my inner critic is loud, and a new project can be hard to fit into my already busy days. To combat this, I started small, tiny even—writing just a few minutes every day to build up my confidence.

The process of creating, whether a cafe, YouTube channel, or new musical instrument, begins by putting one foot in front of the other. Start smaller than you currently think possible. As an old teacher of mine used to say: “Decrease your ambition.”

Trust you will eventually grow your tiny habit, but don’t set yourself up for failure by setting the bar too high. Make your creative habit so small that today’s success feels almost inevitable.

Manage the Inner Critic

One reason you aren’t starting might be, as Ira Glass explains, that you have taste. Having a strong aesthetic sense or creative vision is great. But don’t let your taste stop you from getting started. High standards make for a mean inner critic and you censor yourself before you even begin.

If you have something that you want to express, but you aren’t sure how to convey it, don’t let perfection hold you back from starting. The best way to overcome the inner critic is just to begin.

What Feels Good After?

When something is hard, that’s a sign that it might be worth doing.

I’ve been moving every day for 20 years, and there are still days that I don’t want to exercise. I never get up in the morning eager to get into my 39 degree cold plunge. Fasting for 5 days is as difficult a project as I’ve ever undertaken.

I don’t do these things because they feel good in the moment. I do them because I feel great after I’m done.

Habits, even uncomfortable ones, are an investment in your future. The feel-good results aren’t always immediate, but remembering those results will come is one way to motivate yourself to get started.

Further Reading

There has been a lot written about Creative Habits and getting unstuck. Here are a few more books to get started:

The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp. Twyla is one of the most famous modern dance choreographers, but this book is about much more than dance. She outlines her creative process, and tactics for anyone to create, consistently, over a lifetime.

The Dip by Seth Godin. I’ve never regretted reading a book by Seth Godin, but The Dip stands out as a must-read for anyone attempting something difficult. It is important to know when to quit and when to persist, and this book shows the way.

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. I’m a raving fan of Steven Pressfield, and I’ve given this book as a gift dozens of times. Steve coined the term “Resistance,” giving the enemy of creativity a name.

Responsive Audiobook: Chapter 2, The Future of Work

 

I’m very pleased to share, exclusively for this podcast, a chapter of my book, Responsive: What It Takes to Create a Thriving Organization. The full audiobook version of Responsive comes out in late September 2018, but in the meantime, I am excited to share it out in podcast form.

Here’s an excerpt. Subscribe and listen to The Robin Zander Show for the full chapter!

…as the pace of change accelerates, the challenges we face are becoming less and less predictable. Those practices that were so successful in the past are counter-productive in less predictable environments. In contrast, Responsive Organizations are designed to thrive in less predictable environments…

— Responsive Org Manifesto

The world is changing more rapidly than we have ever seen before in human history. According to 2012 estimates, members of the S&P 500 were expected on average to remain in the index for only eighteen years, compared to the sixty-one years they might have expected in 1958. The anticipated lifespan of companies has dropped dramatically over the last few decades.

We also see this in the rise of the ridesharing industry—Lyft and Uber, among others—which was enabled by the proliferation of smartphones. This new industry seized a large part of the taxi market, which previously had been considered stable, if not untouchable. Similarly, the rise of home sharing—and most notably, AirBNB—was made possible by the hyper-connectivity of the Internet Age, and disrupted the traditional hotel industry.

Another example of the changing nature of the business landscape is the 2017 acquisition of Whole Foods by Amazon.com. The day the acquisition was announced, Whole Foods stock rocketed almost 30%, while the value of competitors in the grocery business dropped precipitously. The presumption, it seems, is that disruption of the grocery industry is now inevitable.

There’s a broad lesson in the emergence of ride sharing, home sharing, and the Whole Foods acquisition—which is that any organization or industry is liable to be shaken up at any moment. The goal of every company in the 21st century should be to become resilient, flexible, and have the capacity to respond to inevitable change. Industries, today, can change with unprecedented speed.

If you’ve enjoyed Chapter 2 of Responsive, you can purchase a Kindle or print version of the book on Amazon. And be sure to check out the Responsive Conference, coming up September 24-25th in Queens, NY.

Responsive: What It Takes To Create A Thriving Organization, Chapter 1

I’m very pleased to share, exclusively for this podcast, the first chapter of my book, Responsive: What It Takes to Create a Thriving Organization. The full audiobook version of Responsive comes out in late September 2018, but in the meantime, I am excited to share it out in podcast form.

Here’s an excerpt. Subscribe and listen to The Robin Zander Show for the full chapter!

 

On the Shoulders of Giants

Responsive has been built on a community of which I am just a single member.

I am grateful to the six people wrote the Responsive Org manifesto, and began a movement: Adam Pisoni, Aaron Dignan, Matthew Partovi, Mike Arauz, Steve Hopkins and Alexis Gonzales-Black. They put words to a problem faced by organizations today and gave us a language to describe the challenges and tensions that have long existed in the workplace.

I would not have written this book without the friendship of Steve Hopkins, who taught me how to run an un-conference, and the handful of collaborators with whom I produced my first Responsive events.

I’m indebted to the fifty-plus leaders who I’ve interviewed on my podcast, The Robin Zander Show, who described big ideas like non-hierarchy and holacracy in simple language and gave me hope that I could write a book to do the same.

 

How To Use This Book

My career path has never followed a traditional route. My first job out of college was as a management consultant, with a gig as a circus performer nights and weekends. Of course, I couldn’t tell the consulting company that I was in the circus, but I also couldn’t admit to my fellow circus artists that I wore a suit to work. I am not content to live in such a binary world. I want to live in a world that encourages the full expression of every individual, and I am dedicated to building it. Improving the ways we work seems like a great place to start.

Responsive is a compilation of tactics and accompanying short stories about innovators on the front lines of the future of work. It is designed to be a choose-your-own-adventure exploration into how we work in the modern era, the approaches and perspectives employed by high performing organizations, and what makes those methods so effective.

While this book can be read cover to cover, I have designed it so that you can jump to those sections most interesting or relevant to you right now. Ultimately Responsive is intended as a reference guide as much as a road map—a resource you can return to again and again as you dive deeper into Responsive and the future of work.

 

A Responsive Café

I have a vested interest in discovering what works for myself and my small team. Throughout this book, I’ll share stories about my small business, a coffee shop in San Francisco, where I work with my ten-person staff to serve coffee and avocado toast and to build community.

I founded “Robin’s Café” in late April 2016, with no prior experience as a restaurateur but armed with a clear purpose: to foster a nascent community that I knew could exist in our corner of San Francisco. We had exactly three weeks from inception to opening day, so, unsurprisingly, our first week of operations was a mess. Attendees of a conference I had organized on site wanted to support the café, creating a bona fide lunch rush on our very first day.

In those early weeks, we were a team of four, often making up recipes on the spot to cover orders. I look back on those times now, after having a tough day, and realize that no matter how terrible things might seem, it will never be as chaotic and insane as those first few weeks.

We desperately needed additional staff. One day, a man named Frank quietly dropped off his resume during our usual morning rush. I was up to my elbows managing an exploding keg of cold brew. But even in the midst of a coffee emergency, it quickly became clear that Frank was professional, playful, and knowledgeable about the food service industry. I hired him, and he soon became indispensable at the café.

On May 20, 2016, Frank had been scheduled to open the café. Around 9:30 a.m., I got a call that Frank hadn’t shown up. “Was he sick?” I wondered. I checked to see if he’d sent me any messages, but there were none. I called him, but it went to voicemail. A week later, I sent an email, mostly in jest, with the subject, “Are you still alive?” The staff and I just assumed that Frank became a “no call, no show,” something not uncommon in the service industry. Frank’s cutting contact was a simple case of job abandonment. Still, it somehow didn’t seem like Frank, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. I tracked down his brother on social media and messaged him. I heard nothing for several days.

Then, out of the blue, Frank’s brother called me. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” I remember him saying, “My brother is dead. He was hit and killed by a train.” In that moment of shock, while I digested what I’d just heard, Frank’s brother went on: “I want you to know how happy he was to be working at Robin’s Café.”

Frank’s death is a constant reminder to me of how truly transient and changeable business—and life—can be. As a small business owner in those first few weeks, I had to be resilient, not just in my response to Frank’s death, but to be able to mentor and support those at our café and in the community who knew him. I was determined to build into the ethos of our organization this realization that circumstances can change in an instant. I wanted my team to be resilient when times got tough and grateful for the days when work felt more like play. I like to think that in some way this commitment to resilience and good humor is a small homage to Frank.

That same ethos is what has compelled me to write this book and to share just some of the ways that ground-breaking organizations and individuals are exploring human-centered work. This book is an invitation to see the value of Responsive approaches and bring them into your organization as fits your vision and culture.

If you’ve enjoyed Chapter 1 of Responsive, you can purchase a Kindle or print version of the book on Amazon. And be sure to check out the Responsive Conference, coming up September 24-25th in Queens, NY.

Jennifer Dennard at Responsive Conference 2016 – “Medium – The Future of (People) Work”

I hope you enjoy this talk with Jennifer Dennard from Responsive Conference 2016. Jennifer is the co-founder of Range Labs and the former Head of People and Culture at Medium, focusing on organization design, people operations, and diversity & inclusion.

Jennifer is passionate about helping teams work together better. In this talk, Jennifer talks about human resources and a future of work that is best for our employees.

This talk was recorded live at the 1st Annual Responsive Conference in September 2016. Learn more at http://responsiveconference.com

Charles Best at Responsive Conference 2017 – “DonorsChoose.org – A Purpose Driven Company”

I’m pleased to share this talk at Responsive Conference 2017 with Charles Best (@CharlesBest), founder and CEO of DonorsChoose.org.

Charles Best is an American philanthropist and entrepreneur. He is the founder and CEO of DonorsChoose.org, a crowdfunding platform for K-12 teachers serving in US schools.

Charles launched the organization out of a Bronx public high school where he taught history. DonorsChoose.org is one of Oprah Winfrey’s “ultimate favorite things” and was named by Fast Company as one of the “50 Most Innovative Companies in the World.”

This video was recorded at the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference in New York City in 2017. Learn more: http://responsiveconference.com

Revolutionizing Education with Anthony Kim and Alexis Gonzales-Black

I am so excited for today’s interview with two guests. Today we are speaking with Anthony Kim (@Anthonx), the founder and CEO of Education Elements, as well as Alexis Gonzales-Black (@Gonzalesblack), a former guest on the podcast and speaker at Responsive Conference.

We are here today to talk about their new book, The New School Rules: 6 Vital Practices for Thriving and Responsive Schools. I had a blast conducting this interview and sitting down with them, and I hope you enjoy as much as I did!

Show Notes

1:30 How Anthony and Alexis met
4:30 Holacracy at Education Elements
7:00 Check ins and check outs
9:00 Balancing tensions
12:15 Assumptions versus known facts
14:15 Alexis’ background in education
15:30 Recruitment and retention
17:45 Inefficient processes in education
24:00 Team of teams autonomy
27:15 Tailor Responsive concepts to fit your personal teams
30:00 Sharing information transparently
32:30 School structures have not revolutionized enough
36:00 The New School Rules book structure
38:00 Planning and predicting
42:15 How to make change with mini experiments
45:15 Creating better work conditions for teachers
49:30 Safe enough to try
52:30 Contact Alexis and Anthony:
Website: The New School Rules
Amazon: The New School Rules: 6 Vital Practices for Thriving and Responsive Schools – If you like the book, please leave a review!
Linkedin: Alexis and Anthony
Twitter: Alexis, Anthony, The New School Rules
Anthony’s Website: Education Elements
Alexis’ Website: Thoughtful Org

If you enjoyed this interview you’ll also enjoy my first interview with Alexis Gonzales-Black, where we discussed her backstory, rolling out Holacracy at Zappos and much more.

And, don’t forget, tickets are on sale now for Responsive Conference 2018 – where both Alexis and Anthony will be onstage!

Founding the Global Phenomenon of AcroYoga with Jason Neymar

My guest today is the co-founder of the global phenomenon of AcroYoga Jason Neymar (@jasonnemer). I’ve followed Jason’s work for years, having watched the rise of AcroYoga at a distance over the last 10+ years, so it was a pleasure to sit down and talk about physical practice, the healing arts, AcroYoga, and much more.

I’m in awe of the global movement Jason has built, and we dive deep into some of the things he has done – and is doing – to make AcroYoga one of the most friendly and welcoming physical communities I’ve experienced.

I was connected to Jason by his co-founder and my dear friend Jenny Sauer-Klein. If you haven’t, I highly recommend listening to that conversation, as well.

As a physical nerd and athlete, I’ve long looked forward to talking about AcroYoga and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Here is Jason Neymar.

Show Notes

2:30 Finding gymnastics and acro yoga
6:00 Designing AcroYoga to be accessible
10:00 Jason’s physical practice
12:00 Inclusivity and play
16:30 Discipline met with openness
19:00 Gymnastics as a gateway to movement
22:15 Pros and cons of social media and the internet
25:45 Remedies to cyber addiction
27:45 Healing arts of acro yoga
33:15 Emotional cycles in healing
36:30 Touch and gender barriers
41:00 Art and science of acro yoga
43:00 Physical disciplines Jason recommends
45:45 Find AcroYoga:
Website
Youtube
Facebook
48:30 Future of acro yoga
50:30 AcroYoga Fest: Divine Play

If you enjoyed this episode with Jason Neymar, I think you will enjoy my previous podcast episode with AcroYoga co-founder Jenny Sauer-Klein.

Mark Fisher on Serious Fitness for Ridiculous Humans

My guest today is Mark Fisher, who regularly shows up wearing a unicorn head – atypical of someone who runs several gyms in midtown manhattan. Mark is the co-owner of Mark Fisher Fitness and the consulting group, Business for Unicorns.

Mark and I share a common background in the performing arts, and it was fun for me to hear how Mark has taken that background and applied it to his entrepreneurial efforts both at his gyms and as a consultant. As someone who has long thought of creating a gym or physical center, I loved this conversation. Even more so, though, Mark’s passion for culture and people shone through.

I’m also pleased to share that Mark Fisher is going to be one of our speakers at Responsive Conference 2018, which will be taking place on September 24th and 25th in New York City. Pick up a ticket to hear him speak live.

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

Show Notes
3:30 Balancing ridiculousness at Mark Fisher Fitness
9:15 Starting a fitness business
12:30 Combining creativity with vision execution
15:00 Business for Unicorns
19:45 Soft skills in hard systems and the Unicorn Society
22:00 Current state of fitness
26:00 Advice for building a gym
31:00 Books:

33:30 Loving community
38:00 Cultural health
40:00 What’s next for Mark
43:15 Constant improvement
48:00 Find more about Mark:

Sunny Bates: How To Build A World Class Network

I first got to know today’s guest through my work at Socos, alongside Vivienne Ming. Over the last several years, I’ve heard a name mentioned in a variety of unlikely contexts – by Chris Anderson, the CEO of TED, Perry Chen, the Co-Founder of Kickstarter, and Beth Comstock, the Vice Chair at GE.

My guest today is Sunny Bates, a behind-the-scenes master connector of many of the most innovative companies, personalities, and artists that you’ve heard of, and many that you haven’t.

Sunny sits on the board of Kickstarter, the MIT Media Lab, and TED. She advises companies like GE and Credit Suisse on new initiatives and is the go-to resource when companies like P&G and The Guardian need a new breakthrough.

As you’ll hear, Sunny is deeply committed to culture and the arts. I was startled to learn that she had hosted world-famous musician, Amanda Palmer, and blogger, Maria Popova, to her home for a house party.

In this interview, we discuss how Sunny has built an incredible network of innovators, spanning more than 40,000 people, how her enthusiasm for spontaneous encounters led to her role at Kickstarter, among others, and some of the trends she is most excited for in the future.

Please enjoy!

Show Notes
2:30 Sunny’s connections
5:30 Building a network
10:30 Adding value to other’s work and lives
13:30 We learn quickest alongside an expert
16:45 Exploring our creative side
19:15 Kickstarter
22:00 Looking at the big picture
24:30 A career as a series of projects
29:00 Trends in the future of work
32:15 Equality
34:45 Acknowledgment and gratitude
38:00 It’s never too late to give thanks or apologize
39:45 Compensation
44:00 Books: The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
46:30 Website: sunnybates.com
Twitter: @SunnyBates
Ted Talk

Pam Slim on Capoeira, Building a Body of Work, and the Value of Small Business

 

My guest today is the award-winning author, speaker and small business strategist Pamela Slim (@pamslim).

I first began following Pam’s work with the publication of her first book, Escape from Cubicle Nation, and have watched with enthusiasm as she has transitioned over her career across several very different industries and classes of business.

Her latest, bestselling book, Body of Work, gives a fresh perspective on skills required in the new world of work for people in all work modes, from corporate to nonprofit to small business.

As the founder of K’é in downtown Mesa, Arizona, she now supports small businesses through classes, networking events, and virtual programs.

As the owner of a small cafe in the San Francisco Mission, I was very interested to hear Pam thoughts on why small business is not only necessary but also a great place to build within, with enormous potential.

We discuss a trait that Pam has embodied throughout her career, which I think of as being a lifelong learner or autodidact – and what Pam calls being a multipotentialite.

Pam will be speaking at the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference on Sept. 18-19th 2017 in NYC. I hope you enjoy this interview and hope you’ll consider joining us!

Show Notes

03:00 Capoeira
06:30 Lessons learned from Capoeira
09:30 Pam’s move to Mesa, Arizona – Pam mentions the film “Dolores” by Peter Bratt
14:15 Small business is sexy
18:30 Tactical learning
21:30 Work mode
27:30 Different aspects of self
29:30 Pam’s time in college studying in Mexico and Columbia
33:00 Having multiple career choices – Pam mentions How to Be Everything by Emilie Wapnick and her TED Talk
36:00 Body of Work in practice
38:30 Characteristics of Pam’s Incubator
41:00 Building networks
44:00 Growing small, innovative businesses in small, unexpected locations
49:15 New cities becoming hubs
52:00 Enjoying the process
55:00 Pam’s physical practice
57:45 Learn more about Pam:

Pam’s Website

2nd Annual Responsive Conference

58:30 Parting thoughts

If you enjoyed this episode with Pam Slim, I think you will enjoy the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference this September 18-19th in New York City. 

 

Could you do me a favor? If you’ve enjoyed the Robin Zander Show, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes. Reviews help others find the podcast, and more importantly let me know that you’re enjoying what you’re hearing. Thank you!

You can also keep track of the podcast and all of my projects via my newsletter. Just visit RobinPZander.com and click Newsletter.

Jenny Blake on Fear, Physical Routines and Learning to Pivot

 

Today’s guest is my friend Jenny Blake (@jenny_blake) an author, career and business strategist and speaker who helps people organize their brain, and build sustainable, dynamic careers. She is the author of PIVOT: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One and led a workshop at the 1st annual Responsive Conference in September 2016.

Jenny combines her love of technology with her superpower of simplifying complexity to help clients pivot their career or business.

Jenny is brilliant at building simple systems which delegate responsibility and automating decision making. We break down what that means early on in the interview! and she shares a lot of specific personal examples.

We discuss her regular yoga practice, and how a physical routine have helped her build a sustainable career.

Jenny and I also discuss fear, a theme embedded throughout her book PIVOT. We discuss where fear has impacted her business and her personal life, and how she thinks about tackling those.

Whether for an organization or person looking to PIVOT, or just for tactics for simplifying decision making – and life – I hope you enjoy this conversation with Jenny Blake!

Show Notes

02:30 Finding systems
06:15 Explaining systems and delegation
12:15 Jenny’s flow and new book PIVOT: The Only Move That Matters is Your Next One
14:00 Robin’s flow
17:15 Writing
20:00 Jenny’s trends for writing: Toolkit
22:30 Jenny’s family
25:30 Jenny’s desire for teaching and business as a child
28:00 Jenny’s physical practices
29:30 Fear
33:00 Jenny’s relationship
36:00 Fear in physical activities: muay thai and surfing
42:30 Personal responsibility:

Loving What Is by Byron Katie
The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

44:30 Jenny’s coaching
47:30 What’s next for Jenny:

Building Pivot

50:30 What’s next for Robin:

2nd Annual Responsive Conference
Robin’s Cafe
Leadership Retreats

53:00 Find Jenny:

Pivotmethod.com
Toolkit – for authors
Pivot Podcast


If you enjoyed this episode with Jenny Blake, I think you will enjoy the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference this September 18-19th in New York City. 

 

Could you do me a favor? If you’ve enjoyed the Robin Zander Show, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes. Reviews help others find the podcast, and more importantly let me know that you’re enjoying what you’re hearing. Thank you!

You can also keep track of the podcast and all of my projects via my newsletter. Just visit RobinPZander.com and click Newsletter.

Megan Poe Teaches the Most Popular Class at NYU – on Love

Megan Poe is a psychiatrist and interpersonal psychoanalyst  who teaches one of New York University’s most popular and fastest-growing classes. Her topic? Love! At this year’s Responsive Conference, she’ll explore with us what it takes to live, love, and work well.

In addition to her professorship at NYU, Meg has a private practice in New York City. Meg’s mission is to help people feel most present and alive in their creative flow and inner life. She specializes in helping adults create more-intimate, fulfilling relationships in their lives and work.

In this interview we cover a ton of ground –  why Meg’s class at NYC is so popular, the definition of self-love, and how Meg thinks about love both chronologically over a lifetime, and in different roles – mentorship, familial love, romantic love, and more. We discuss Megs background as a doctor, but also her exploration into sound healing and kundalini yoga – and how these influence her work today.

I really enjoyed this wide ranging conversation and can’t wait to see her onstage at the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference. I hope you enjoy today’s interview with Megan Poe.

 

Show Notes

3:00 Meg’s class on love at NYU
9:30 Collaboration
13:00 Teams and projects that bring people together
16:30 Dream analysis
21:30 Kundalini yoga
24:45 Kundalini rising
28:30 Working with students
33:30 Love that is not regarded as love
37:45 How Meg began looking at love
42:30 Self acceptance
48:00 Expanding our understanding of love
50:30 Lack of self love
52:45 Tools for self love
1:01:30 Mixing science and art
1:06:00 Med school
1:10:00 Find Meg:

Meg’s Website
2nd Annual Response Conference

Books Meg mentions:

Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity by David Lynch
The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
The Artist’s Way Morning Pages Journal by Julia Cameron

 

 

If you enjoyed this episode with Megan Poe, I think you will enjoy the 2nd Annual Responsive Conference, which will be taking place this September in New York City.

 

Could you do me a favor? If you’ve enjoyed the Robin Zander Show, I would really appreciate a review on iTunes. Reviews help others find the podcast, and more importantly let me know that you’re enjoying what you’re hearing. Thank you!

Srini Rao and the Art of Being Unmistakable

My guest today, Srini Rao (@unmistakableCEO), is an author and the founder and host of the popular podcast, the Unmistakable Creative, where he’s interviewed over five hundred creative people. Former guests on the show include Tim Ferriss, Simon Sinek, and Seth Godin. His first, self-published book The Art of Being Unmistakable got the attention of media personality Glenn Beck, sold over 15,000 copies and hit the “Wall Street Journal” bestseller list.

My conversation with Srini starts and ends with surfing, which we both have a passion for, and forms the outline for his new book Unmistakable. Srini credits surfing with the launch of his podcast and the Unmistakable brand, and using surfing analogies to teach the principles of creating unforgettable work. We discuss behavior change, and how incremental steps add up over time – whether in a physical practice like surfing or in building a brand or business. We discuss the art of the interview, and what Srini has learned about people – and about learning – from conducting over 500 interviews.

I hope you enjoy this interview with my guest, and host of the Unmistakable podcast, Srini Rao.

 

Show Notes

3:00 Surfing
9:30 Srini’s new book: Unmistakable: Why Only is Better than Best
12:30 Behavioral change through consistency
16:30 Deliberate practice
18:00 The art of the interview
21:00 Curiousity and presence
25:30 Make a podcast entertaining by asking the right questions
31:00 A.J. Leon
33:00 The Compass: A Creator’s Guide to Instigating Something that Matters
34:30 Greg Hartle and The Art of Being Unmistakable: A Collection of Essays About Making a Dent in the Universe
39:30 Glenn Beck
46:00 Misinterpretations
48:00 Habits: The 8-Step Daily Routine That’s Enabled me to Write 100’s of Articles and 3 Books
52:30 Behavior shifts that start from physical movement
55:00 Scary surfing moments
57:00 The challenge of scale
58:00 Books:

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Anchor
The Life and Times of a Remarkable Misfit by A.J. Leon
How To Be a Person in the World by Heather Havrilesky
The Fear Project by Jaimal Yogis
Saltwater Buddha by Jaimal Yogis
All Our Waves Are Water by Jaimal Yogis
Barbarian Days by William Finnegan
The Art of Being Unmistakable: A Collection of Essays About Making a Dent in the Universe by Srini Rao
Unmistakable: Why Only is Better than Best by Srini Rao

Find Srini:
Unmistakable Creative Website
Unmistakable Creative Podcast

 

If you enjoyed this interview with Srini Rao, you might also enjoy my interview with BJ Fogg, PhD on behavior change and much more.

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How Not to Join a Cult with Bob Gower

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Bob Gower (@bobgower) has one of the most eclectic career paths of anyone I know. I met Bob after he published the article “From Sex Cult to C-Suite” and I was so intrigued by the range of things he had done in his life that I reached out to him. We have been collaborating ever since.

In this interview we dive into what does it mean for humans to be fully mature and how can organizations support human development.

Bob is a part of the curation team and a speaker at the upcoming Responsive Conference, taking place on Sept. 19-20th in Berkeley, CA.

Show Notes

1:30 – 5:30 Adulting
5:30 – 9:30 Why sustain a business?
9:30 – 14:00 Maturity, values, and purpose
15:00 – 19:00 Bob’s eclectic background
19:00 – 22:00 Organization applied to people and organizations
22:00 – 25:00 Messes that work
25:00 – 29:30 Experiencing the world while also faking it
29:30 – 34:00 The cult
34:00 – 36:00 Trying something new
36:30 – 40:00 Cult-like behavior elsewhere
40:00 – 44:30 Freedom after leaving something
44:30 – 47:00 Good Company
Bobgower.com

For another podcast episode discussing The Future of Work, listen to this interview with Mike Arauz:

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The Doctor of Hip-Hop Blake Brandes on the Benefit of Random Encounters, Hip-Hop for Good, and Dropping the Beat

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Blake Brandes (@BlakeBrandes) is a motivational speaker, hip-hop educator, and music producer.  He was the recipient of the Marshall Scholarship, one of the most competitive postgraduate awards in the world, which he used to complete his Master’s and PhD on hip-hop and global youth cultures at the University of Kent in England. While he was completing his PhD, Blake was also running a music production and artist management company, where he produced Top 40 radio songs and played over 75 shows across Europe and the US.  Blake completed a 3 year term as chief program officer at Champions for Kids, where he helped design service projects and corporate partnerships that resulted in over 1 million children receiving needed resources across America. Blake was also recently invited to audition for America’s Got Talent, where he received a standing ovation from a crowd of 3,000 people in Madison Square Garden.

Blake is co-founder of the personal development company, Motivational Millennial, and co-host of the Motivational Millennial Podcast. He serves as Chief Innovation Officer for the benefit corporation, Simple Giving Inc., and he runs a hip-hop motivational speaking business as President of Decrypt Productions. Blake is currently finishing a motivational hip-hop album called Remix Your Reality, and he also runs a blog called The Up Beat, where he publishes rap videos and blog posts on motivational topics like overcoming challenges and balling out of control.

LATE NITE ART, Experience Design, and Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone with Adam Rosendahl

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Adam Rosendahl (@Adam_Rosendahl) is the founder of the global creative events company LATE NITE ART. Adam and I reconnected at last year’s Design for Dance conference, but as it turns out also went the middle school and played soccer together as kids. In the decades since Adam has been a high school teacher, volunteered with a homeless shelter, and led Outward Bound trips which are leadership with at risk youth in the Mississippi bayou.

Along the way, Adam began leading creative, collaborative pop-up events, and now runs the company LATE NITE ART, which creates creative, collaborative, stylish and also playful events for corporate audiences. Adam details whatLATE NITE ART is and how it works early on in the interview.

Michael Krigsman on CxO Talk, Photography, and What Makes a Compelling Story

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Michael Krigsman (@mkrigsman), founder of CxO Talk, is internationally recognized for his work as an industry analyst and commentator, and a man of many interests. A writer, interviewer, speaker, and professional photographer,  Michael finds ways to share his passions across a wide variety of media.

We discuss Michael’s interviews at CxO Talk as well as his love for photography. He shares what he has learned about openness and storytelling after hosting hundreds of live interviews and we discuss the benefit of a creative practice. Whether for practical insights into how technology impacts everyday life, or for insight into what makes a compelling story, please enjoy this interview with Michael Krigsman.

Show Notes

2:00 CxO Talk = Chief [blank] Officer
3:15 First guest: Guy Kawasaki
6:20 Solving for complexities in large company
10:30 The story of the elephant
12:30 Positive change = innovation
13:00 Innovation as defined by John Michael Schert
13:30 Michael and Stephen Hoover (Xerox PARC) discuss innovation
17:30 Average Is Over by Tyler Cowen
18:00 Practical tools from Michael’s interviews: Be open, listen carefully, and pay attention
19:00 Characteristics of these people: bright, curious, passionate, competitive, focused
22:00 Michael’s photography
23:00 Equipment doesn’t matter, the photographer does
27:00 Photography = recognizing shapes, spatial relationships, color, light, gradation but can be very visual and emotional rather than intellectual
35:00 The writers habit: write for a few hours every morning
45:00 Michael’s favorite books: The Heart of Unconditional Love  by Tulku Thondup. Also, Chögyam Trungpa.
47:00 More about Michael:

For another podcast episode on innovative entrepreneurship listen to this interview with founder of Entrepreneur on Fire John Lee Dumas:

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IDEAS X Lab: Cultivating Innovation between Civic, Business and the Arts

IdeasxLab 2

Today I’m excited to bring you a four-way interview with members of IDEAS x Lab (@ideasxlab),  a company bringing together artists and corporations to cultivate a more creative, productive workforce.

If you’ve listened to prior episodes, then you probably know that this podcast is about improving performance and changing how we work. I interview artists, educators and strategies from a variety of backgrounds. Today is no exception…

Sam Aquillano on Building the Design Museum Foundation, Design Process, and the Importance of Play

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Sam Aquillano (@samaquillano) is a creative entrepreneur who is bringing new life to what we think of when we talk about museums. Sam is the Founder and Executive Director of Design Museum Foundation, which is challenging norms by bringing his museum to where people already are. Currently located in Boston, Portland, and San Francisco, Design Museum acts like a pop-up retail shop hosting events and programs that are widely accessible to the public.

Translating the Creative Process with John Michael Schert

JMS

John Michael Schert (@jmschert) is a ballet dancer who studies and teaches the creative process.

John Michael is a classically trained ballet dancer, having performed with the American Ballet Theater, one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world. He moved on to become a founding member at Cedar Lake Ballet, and for four years performed with Alonzo King LINES ballet.

In 2004 John Michael co-founded the Trey McIntyre Project and served as the company’s executive director and dancer for 9 years. In that time he built a nationally recognized and sustainable arts organization, which toured in Vietnam, China, the Philippines, South Korea, around the US, and which was recognized by publications like the New York Times and PBS. But what is to me even more impressive is the impact that Trey McIntire Project had on local communities, especially in their hometown of Boise, Idaho. The company paved the way for the impact an artistic endeavor can make within a community.

Since the fall of 2013 John Michael has stepped away from his performance career and become a visiting artist and social entrepreneur at the Chicago Booth School of Business where he mentors students and works with faculty to examine the creative process. Recently he has been speaking from stages and consulting around the world on the underutilization of artists and the creative process within business. We met because he was a keynote speaker at last year’s Design for Dance conference.

Amy Cueva discusses Mad*Pow, Health and Human Centered Design

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Amy Cueva (@AmyCueva) believes that design can improve the human condition. It was with that mission and vision that she co-founded Mad*Pow in 2000 and has built an award-winning design and digital agency which serves industries from health to financial services and beyond.

But quite apart from having spend the last 15 years building her company Mad*Pow, Amy lives in a wide variety of different spheres, including sidelining as a belly dance performer and constantly exploring new avenues to positively impact human health. Amy spoke about this diverse mix of careers, projects, and hobbies at the 2015 Design for Dance conference.

Ryan Avery of Chance’s End shares his Electronic Violin, Creative Process, and Fears of Performance

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Ryan Avery is the violinist behind the electronic violin duo Chance’s End, which Ryan began in the early 2000s to feature violin music in contexts where it usually isn’t. Ryan began practicing classical violin as a young boy, but began experimenting with electronic violin music as early as middle school when he played his violin over his own recorded audio cassette.

In the last decade and spurred on the by the rise of well-known electronic violinists such as Lindsay Sterling, Ryan has begun performing his violin electronica around the world alongside his partner Emily Zisman. Chance’s End most well known song Diamond in Disguise has been listened to 23 million times on Pandora alone.

Virgil Wong on Artistry, Drawing Cadavers and Visualizing Health Information

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Several years ago, as a result of a conversation with Karen Cheng, I taught myself how to draw. Mostly by following the steps played out in the book You Can Draw In 30 Days I learned all of the incremental components to be able to draw circles, increasingly complex perspectives, and eventually my own hand. But even more interesting that specific techniques, I was interested to explore perception, even without the ability to produce photo realistic drawings.

So, when I met Virgil Wong (@virgilwong), I was equally intrigued by his company Medical Avatar and by his artistry.

How I Learned to Draw in 30 Days

During the winter of 2013 I learned to draw. Even though I grew up around the arts, I had never really tried putting pencil to paper. My first attempt was as rudimentary as I would have expected…

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Fortunately, I had excellent tutelage in the form of the book You Can Draw in 30 Days, a comprehensive introduction of the art of drawing by Mark Kistler. Mark’s instruction embodies many of the aspects of learning I frequently discuss, including small steps and celebration.

The progressions that Mark described were well considered. After attempting spheres, he taught some practical applications of drawing circles.

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While my spheres aren’t world class, by immediately putting into function simple tools like spheres and shading, I was more confident and eager to apply future lessons. I moved into drawing perspective, which, of course, began very modestly.