The three pillars of selling

What do you think of when you hear the word “salesman?”

I think of the Wolf of Wall Street, the movie Glengarry Glen Ross or a used car salesman. My first thought is of someone who will stop at nothing to get what they want.

That’s unfortunate because we are selling to each other all the time – our ideas, our beliefs, our products.

But what are the core characteristics of selling? There are three:

Connection – form an authentic connection with the other person.

Story – tell a story that is authentic to you and resonates with the person you are selling to.

Ask – Invite powerfully towards the outcome that you want.

Authentic Connection

When I was five years old, my father had me plant pumpkin seeds to grow pumpkins for Halloween.

Together with a couple of neighborhood boys, I stood in the street, waved down cars and asked them if they’d like to buy my pumpkins.

Because, even then, I was a bit ridiculous, often I dressed in a full body scarecrow costume – passers by would speculate if I was a motion-activated robot – and would then tear off my costume to chase down cars.

That childlike enthusiasm to sell something that I’d worked hard to grow is authentic for me. I’m excitable and playful. That exuberance allowed me to connect with my customers.

Whenever you are selling – a product or an idea – look to share yourself with the person you are selling to. Be yourself and you’ll be more likely to create a real relationship with your customer.

That authentically connection is why, when I visit my hometown, I still get asked if Robin’s Pumpkin Patch is coming back next Halloween.

Tell Them Stories

When I started Robin’s Cafe, I’d lived in the neighborhood for a decade.

That period was a time of transition in the Mission District in San Francisco. There were new companies moving into the neighborhood and a lot of local residents were feeling displaced. But that gentrification also came with benefits.

What had historically been an unsafe neighborhood was becoming a thoroughfare. What had been a parking lot across the street was turned into a playground.

As somebody who had lived and worked in the neighborhood for a decade, I bridged the gap between longtime residents and newly incoming tech. workers.

By relating my story, and listening to the stories of my neighbors, I was able to sell the idea of Robin’s Cafe as a community space that served the needs of the neighborhood.

By relating your own personal experiences, and listening thoughtfully to the personal experiences of others, you create the trust and connection which ultimately leads to sales.

The Ask

This final step is the part of a sale that salespeople call “closing.” The moment when you ask your prospective client, “Would you like to buy my thing?”

But I think closing is the wrong word because it gets the incentives backwards.

The goal isn’t to close a deal at any cost. Pressuring your customer to close a deal is more likely to result in a dissatisfied customer and long-term ill will.

Instead, invite them – powerfully – towards the outcome that you believe is best for them, while knowing that they are ultimately responsible for making their own decision.

Selling something can be as simple as forming an authentic connection, telling your story and listening to the other person, and then asking the other person if they would like to buy what you are selling.

Until next week,
Robin

Behavior Change – Zander Media Strategy Sessions

A few weeks ago in NYC, I led a strategy workshop for an exclusive group of CEOs and founders who are building companies designed to thrive in the Future of Work.

Every organization is tasked with issues that seem insurmountable. Often, the process to accomplishing a huge goal can be so overwhelming that we never get started. Behavior change can help make seemingly impossible goals feel smaller and more attainable.

What we want to accomplish is not going to happen in a single day. Instead, break the large goal down into the smallest steps possible, steps so small that they are almost ridiculously easy. When you succeed at accomplishing that tiny step, you will be encouraged to continue.

This is how we build new habits and behavior changes that eventually create monumental differences in our organizations and lives.

Attached to the Outcome Means You’re Going to Fail

I’ve failed a lot in the last year. I have failed to:

As I’ve reviewed these and many other example it is interesting to see that there is one primary cause behind all failures: the outcome. When we are fixated on a predetermined outcome we’re likely to fail. As always, I’m going to use my current physical study (ballet) as exemplar of this concept, but this principle applies far and wide beyond the relatively narrow scope of motor learning.

First though, I’ll introduce my current nemesis, the pirouette:

Attached to an Outcome? Doomed to Fail.

In my daily ballet class there is a one student exemplifies fixation on an outcome. Every time she goes for a pirouette, she attempts a triple. There are many people in my class who can do triple pirouettes with ease, but this woman can’t. She can barely complete a double. And she is so fixated on getting a triple that she has stopped improving. You don’t need to understand the pirouettes for this process to sound familiar. We have all wanted an outcome different than our current reality so much that we tried to deny the current state of things. I see this denial among special needs parents, with athletes, and in companies who want a different reality. And I certainly recognize it in myself. It is understandable, and I’m excited to say that there are new opportunities available.
If there is one pivotal difference that I see between children who overcome their setbacks, athletes who make quick progress in fitness, or companies that tackle their challenges, it is mindset. Mindset is so rudimentary that most everyone’s reaction is “of course!” but when I coach or mentor, this is the single area where I see the greatest (and easiest!) lasting difference.

Make Smaller Circles

In The Art of Learning Josh Waitzkin has a chapter called “Making Smaller Circles.” These three simple words have profound implication on the learning process and on rapid skill growth.

Making smaller circles fits with my experience of learning in several different ways. First, I’ve been making a habit of examining the small steps necessary to make big changes. The smaller the steps the easier it is to create lasting change.

I also make a habit, personally and professionally, of asking questions. In my friends’ and clients’ answers I see another example of circling. Hundreds of times, while describing an obstacle, I have heard someone say “I feel like I’m just going in circles.” And in a way, they are. Last week a friend described his romantic difficulties and then complained that he was just circling around the same issues of a year ago. In fact, he was struggling with romance a year ago, too.

spiral
Enjoy Making Smaller Circles (Photo: Procsilas)

When I heard that comment though or when I am trying (and sometimes failing) to take small steps towards my goals, I prefer to think that we are all making smaller circles.

Parking in San Francisco is Easy (Or How to Hack Any Task)

There’s just one secret that anyone parking in San Francisco needs to know. Read the fine print first!

No Parking

I use my car to travel throughout San Francisco, a city that has twice as many cars as parking spaces. I was recently parking in the Inner Sunset – or attempting to. I circled the area six times before stopping in front of the sign that clearly read “No Stopping” with more text too small to see in the dark. It turned out that the sign was only valid until 6 PM and I parked within 30 feet of my destination. Read signs thoroughly before deciding whether to follow the directions.

But let’s also take a moment to extrapolate. So often we make things out to be difficult and then – low and behold – they are.  I was taught that a workday goes from 9 AM until 5 PM (okay, maybe 8 AM until 6 PM). For many years I worked between those hours even if that work was unnecessary. Now, I make a habit of looking for the shortcuts that other people don’t see. This doesn’t mean short shrifting. Actually, I do more than I did in years past. The difference now is that before doing those many hours of arduous work I look for shortcuts that other people might have overlooked. Whether parking in San Francisco, improving my business, or improving the life of a child with autism I find shortcuts that save time and produce better outcomes. Think before you act and find the options that other people have mistakenly assumed are against the rules. What shortcuts have you discovered that other people overlook?

What Will You Make of Your Life?

In 2004 I set some life goals. Among the highlights were:

I haven’t become a monk. I haven’t raised a child though I do help others do so, professionally! I did stop that guy from jumping off that bridge. And my first book is going to be published this December. Realizing that I’ve accomplished most of the goals I’ve set for myself I decided to aim higher and get much more specific. I created the following for a Tim Ferriss competition.  I hope you enjoy:

A question that I sometimes ask myself is what would I do if I knew that I could not fail.  I don’t know that I won’t fail this time, or next time. I do know that as long as I enjoy the process each iteration is going to get better. My first book won’t be my last. And my next workshop will be even better than my last. And in the meantime, I’ll keep going!

I would love to hear from you. What are three goals that you would set for yourself if your weren’t afraid to fail? Leave a note in the comments.