In my early twenties, I ran a business working with children with autism.
Autistic kids often lack the social standards that we take for granted. They rely on their felt-sense of those around them – their intuitive feel for the attitudes held by others – in place of social niceties.
We all sense other people’s attitudes, whether we realize it or not. And these attitudes shape how we behave.
The same attitude that I learned working with special needs kids is useful in persuasion. You can sell a car through pressure and pushiness; I can motivate a child through judgment and shame. But it is more effective to show up loving, curious, and present, and invite towards what you want from there.
About the attitude
An inviting attitude is more effective than one that is demanding and judgmental.
This is the same attitude that great parents have with their kids, great leaders have with their teams, and great salespeople have with their clients. It has three parts:
- Loving
- Present
- Accepting
Loving
Successful selling starts with generosity.
When you show up compassionate and loving, you are more compelling and better able to foster connection.
This loving attitude provides your prospective client the rare opportunity to see themself, and their situation, with love and compassion. It builds rapport.
So, before you try to sell your product or persuade someone of your belief, take a moment to connect with them.
Presence
In working with kids with autism, the first skill I learned to practice was presence – following them into their world, instead of insisting that they join my own.
And this ability, to be present with yourself or someone else, is equally valuable in sales.
You won’t be 100% present. But when you get distracted, returning to your client, and the connection you’re building.
Acceptance
Acceptance is often the most difficult part of a successful attitude in sales. As salespeople, we get attached to the outcome of a successful sale.
But when you don’t judge the decisions of the person that you are selling to – when you only want what is best for them – you create an environment where things are more likely to go your way.
Your presence closes deals
How you show up with a prospective customer will determine whether they buy.
Maintaining an attitude of enthusiasm, and not desperation. Keep your buyer’s best interest at heart and you have a much better chance of having things go your way.
Homework
Without prying, find out three personal details about your local barista.
Show up with interest and enthusiasm for who they are. Ask how long they’ve been working at the cafe. Find out what they’re aspirations are. Are they saving? Are they in school? Do they want to own their own cafe, someday?
Get to know them and find out personal details. If you’re uncomfortable asking, all the better. Practice the attitude.
In order to do that you’ll have to be curious, present, and non-judgmental.
Until next week,
Robin