Welcome to Snafu, a newsletter about authentic selling in a chaotic world.
Most of us avoid conflict, especially in public. But this week, I picked a fight on the Internet. After calling out a pushy AI salesman, I found myself debating strangers and for the first time in my life, I’m very happy to stand my ground.
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This is how you lose a sale in under 24 hours
A few weeks ago, a salesman from an AI lead generation company cold-called me.
I told him I was busy, but invited him to follow up with a short Loom video showing how his product could help Responsive Conference. I promised to watch the Loom and respond if I was interested.
He followed up – without the Loom, and with a generic pitch.
He lost the sale.
I posted about my experience on LinkedIn, with the takeaway that there are two types of selling:
❌ Coercive selling: fast-talking, pushy, ignoring requests to “follow up later.”
✅ Authentic selling: clear, respectful, tailored, and actually helpful.
Coercive selling might get short-term results, but it destroys trust. Authentic persuasion builds relationships. As BJ Fogg, PhD, says, it’s “helping people do things they already want to do.”
What’s surprising about this story is what happened next. My LinkedIn post blew up. A lot of people commiserated with the experience of being pitched but not listened to.
And other people – these are strangers on the Internet! – started lecturing me on the difference between a lead and a qualified customer, and told me that I owed it to the salesman to listen to his pitch.
I don’t think I was sharing a controversial take. I believe that coercive selling ruins trust. If a salesperson doesn’t listen to a simple request during the initial sale, they’re very unlikely to take care of the customer after the sale is closed. Great sales is about taking care of people.
These beliefs aren’t universally held. Apparently, there are angry salesmen on the Internet who are willing to fight about these ideas.
For the first time in my life, my response is: bring it on! I’m delighted to fight with these strangers; to tilt at these windmills.
Because the world needs more people who actually give a damn.
Homework
Find a moment (online or off) where you genuinely disagree with something. Don’t stay silent. Speak up. State your case clearly and calmly. The goal isn’t to win, but to practice not avoiding conflict when you really care.